Week 6: A quick escape.

Finally, after five days at work I could sleep in and pack my suitcase for a little getaway back to my brother’s place. Four days alone, away from home, yet again taking care of their three cats. I brought my laptop, Spanish book and a positive attitude to explore the city more. What more could I need?

I enjoyed catching up with my brother and his girlfriend before they left for their own little getaway. I hadn’t slept well that night so I slept in and stayed on the couch that day. Besides the usual trip to the grocery store I didn’t leave the apartment and ordered dinner. I watched Netflix and cuddled the cats all day.

The next days looked the same, occasionally waking up earlier to a sunny sky. Sterting my days ambitious and that ambition slowly declining during the day by laying on the couch not even touching my Spanish book. I felt useless and disappointed in myself. Why couldn’t I just go out? My brother even left coupons for ice cream, only three minutes from the supermarket. Every morning I told myself I would go for ice cream, but every day I found myself on the couch watching Bridgerton.

I was happy to have a little escape from home, to not feel watched or judged because I sat on the couch all day. Of course, I still judged myself for this. To comfort me, mom and dad would say, ‘Just two more nights and then you’ll be home again’ but I still wouldn’t feel at home. I've thought so often, when I’m in the train, to just go to the airport and see where I could fly to. Feeling the need to get away immediately.

I have given my “two-months notice” to work and started dreaming of and planning my next trip. ‘Just two more months’, I keep telling myself. I remember how happy I was volunteering in Greece, I plan to volunteer more. My boyfriend and I are back together and I’m definitely going to visit him during my trip.